My ass is growing while my mind is shrinking…

Wednesday, that would be yesterday, delights of the unemployed. Please enjoy and consider this my updated resume.

This morning one Muppet claimed stomach ache and the dramatic role she played was worthy of an award, not an Academy Award, but something along– over dramatic award? She stayed up in her room for the morning, but by late morning, it was apparent the child was fine. I made her clean her room, clean her closet, walk the dogs, pick up around the house, and made sure the other Muppet brought her homework home.

What do they think? Just because I am home they can take a mental health day?When do I get a mental health day?

Spent the day cataloging photos in my computer. I can tell you what I did in August of 2010, but not what I did yesterday.

A friend of mine emailed me asking how I have been.

My response? “I am slowly approaching insanity. Days are long, weekends are longer. My ass is growing while my mind is shrinking.”

That about sums it up in a nutshell.

If I thought the days were long, the nights are longer! Between the hubby snoring, which gets progressively louder starting around 4 in the morning, yet stops when the alarm goes off at 6:30, and the neurotic dog who freaks anytime a bell rings, I am exhausted! I used to watch television at night to help me fall back to sleep, but lately that is what freaks the dog out, so I lie awake and compose songs to the rhythm of hubby’s snores.

Meeting Billy Joel next week, might be a new album.

Fired my editor for sleeping on the job, twice. This time he slept on my computer causing the keyboard to lock. Researched the internet for help, no good. An hour on the phone with Geek Squad, trial and error of pushing buttons, this and that, finally back to reality. Hence my posting the insanity of Wednesday today.

Sick of grocery shopping, cleaning out the cupboards. Every night has been a smorgasbord of food, or a new concoction. Two nights ago began as a chicken rice casserole which progressed into a chicken pot pie with rice. Surprisingly, it was good. 4 out of 5 people in the house agreed. Last night was tuna melts, broccoli, chick peas, carrots, and pizza bagels for the children. Hey, I never claimed to be a nutrition blog. I am just a get me through the day blog!

Ah, but alas, thank goodness for the school going Muppet. You learn something new everyday. Today she taught me that there are layers of skin and then under the skin is bone, and then when you open the bone there is marrow. So my day was educational after all.

Last but not least, I gave my only dollar in my wallet to the middle child if she would clean the litter box. Turns out, my household is one of those jokes. How many people does it take to change a litter box? The answer is three and it still cost a dollar.

Don’t ask me why.

Really, that was in no means meant to go back to Billy.

Yesterday I actually put a skirt on, got dressed up, did my hair, even shaved my legs.

Wait…that was Tuesday. What day is it today?

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8 Responses to My ass is growing while my mind is shrinking…

  1. franzlagu says:

    I feel connected. Except for the cooking because that’s how I partly keep my sanity 😉 smiling…

  2. Does anybody really like grocery shopping? I could do without the weekly trip to the store.

  3. I get this. If we can’t find something funny about what life throws at us, our days will be grim indeed. Good job!

  4. I get this. If we can’t find something funny to get us through, the days will be grim indeed. Good job!

  5. Ryan Coleman says:

    Love your style. Love your humor. You can’t go wrong with a slice of life. Nom nom nom nom nom. Alright, that was a little weird. But, really, thanks for the slice of life. I dig it.

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